..the fuck she think she is?

Who the fuck she think she is, y'all? I mean really. She thinks she the bee's knee's and shit, but that bitch is just damn sixteen, she can't even get into a fuckin R rated movie, if she could, she would know that Gossip Girl sucks CUNTS. if she had any sense she'd be watching dawson creek reruns on VHS. But no. she just says "oh, derrrrr my name is coco, want some coaco puffs? derrrr".
She ain't nothin but another damn chloe sevigny lookin', kim gordon/thurston moore daughter wannabe like every other sweet sixteen gossipin faggot. fuck.


-Jearlene

Someone I can relate to.

Y'all. I think I have found my SOUL MATE! No, i'm not a dang lesbian, but seriously.. I thought my kind were extinct these days. But this lady resembles me whole heatedly!!  I can't believe how much she looks and sounds and THINKS like me.

So I took her advice, even though my doctor advised against it (said I didn't need it or something) and started using the product she's promoting.



Well let me tell you, it had changed me life! Yep. Catheters are the GREATEST. I used to waste SOOO much time without catheters, but now I have tons of extra free time. It's truly a miracle. I recommend it to anyone who isn't a DUMBASS or a PUSSY.

Nutrishun

You know, we humans eat a lot. I mean, we eat every day! Most of us anyway. That's a shit load of eatin!

SO! What are we eating? Well, for a while I was eating crap. But last week I was up late, and saw an infomercial about a new SUPERFOOD. A food so great, so awesome. Not only is it TASTY and DE-LICIOUS! BUT IT IS NUTRTISHOUS!

Scientist in Etheopia have found that puppy nuggets are the perfect food for a balanced diet. In fact, you will probably live longer. So eat up today y'all!

 

-Jearlene

FUCK HIPPY LESBOS

all of them.
the dark lord will REIGN over them.

LET ME IN

Looks like the most awesome, original, AMERICAN SPEAKIN movie this year.

Jetzt Selbstmord begehen wir

-Jearlene

Never Forget

So here we are, just 5 days after the 9th anniversary of September 11th, 2001.

I was sitting here, just enjoying my lunch (chick-fil-a's christian chicken nuggets with ranch! MMM!) when I got an email from my pal Sally McMackmy, and it said Wynonna Judd had lost 60 lbs!
Now, first of all, y'all need to understand, I am the LARGEST Wynonna fan this side of the international date line. I'd take her over that no talent twat of a sister "Assley" ANY day of the week.

But gosh I have always admired her. She had done so much with the body and facial structure that the good lord gave her. But what kept it all together was the dang MEAT on her BONES! I mean really, if you got a dang cube head you gotta soften the freakin' edges. It's damn geometry! That is just the way I have always felt about ladies with blunt features.

Well... I took a look at the email, and gosh. I just cannot believe it. All I can think is DANG DANG DANG. What is she DOING!?
Doesn't she realize that with the weight loss plus the tan, plus the eye brow plucking, teeth, and hair that looks like a halloween store wig,
she now looks like some tranny trying to be Wynonna?!
                                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                                                                                      

WARNING: I AM ADVISING VIEWER DISCRETION! 

If you have any rug rats around, you may want to blindfold them or poke them in the eye or something.

Me personally, I felt like my boy Jarvis was ready to see it. YOUR CALL!

                                                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                                

  

 I'm sorry! But Mrs. Judd, you have crossed the line. You have betrayed your fellow fatties. And god has cursed you with an even uglier body!

But I cannot stay mad forever. I will NEVER FORGET the Wynonna we USED to know.
The one who liked to laugh while eating. And sing while eating. And even eat while eating.

What happened to the Wynonna I knew?

What happened to this:                                                 or this:

She is dead. But I know her soul will live on.

Let us remember the real Wynonna, not her imposter.

1964 - 2010

-Jearlene